I'm An Accountant

Retrieval Day is always exciting and hectic. We were scheduled to be there at 9:30 for a retrieval at 11am. G and I have to take along a "sample" from home, and they say to make sure you get it to them within 2 hours. So, we secured the sample, (which, Mom M, magically happens). I'm only sharing this because of the rest of the day. So, we leave our place just before 8am, having to make the trek all the way up to their main office. Because of traffic this takes us over an hour, and we arrive about 10 minutes before our scheduled arrival time.

The whole way up there I have the sample nestled between my legs to keep it warm. In order to walk it in, I put it in a pocket of my purse.

9:30: Scheduled time of arrival. Still in waiting room. Sample in purse. G is playing game on phone. I am twitching.

9:40: Still in waiting room. This is the moment that the 2 hour limit is up on our sample. I whisper to the sample to hang in there. G keeps looking at his watch and staring at the brown paper bag poking through the top of my purse.

9:41: My twitch leads me to the reception desk, where I mention our time limit and give the best "I have sperm in my purse and it's very awkward" look.

9:45: They finally take us back. The area they have for prep looks very much like an ER Triage, lots of areas with curtains. They drop off paperwork for me to fill out, my beautiful pink gown (open in back), my foot booties, and a hair net. G is now holding his sample. They say they will call the lab to come pick it up.

10:00: I am completely changed (minus the hair cap thingy, I save that for last minute). The anesthesiologist arrives to hook up my IV. For the record, that numbing needle hurts. He also gives me meds through my IV to "dry up my secretions" since I have that cough and "extra secretions" that go with it. He calms my fears by saying they've been doing a lot of this lately. G is still holding his sample. 2h 20m.

10:30: Nurses come in to complete paperwork they gave me earlier. We mention that we still have our sample. I know they know what they're doing - but Please. Take. Sperm. Away.

10:35: Doctor comes in to introduce himself. He has the best skin I have ever seen on a doctor. We talk about assisted hatching, and ICSI - both procedures that we didn't need previously, but he had to go over them anyways. This is the last time I see him today, as I am already knocked out before he enters the surgery room.

10:40: LAB shows up. Takes sample. Big sigh of relief. We didn't hear anything about it, so we assume that everything was fine and they didn't all jump ship. We joke that if there's a problem, G could just use the urine sample cups in ample supply in the bathroom to produce a new one. It's at this point that lots of things are funny. Twitch.

A last bathroom break with IV tag along later, and I'm walking into the surgery room and G is led to the waiting area. They will bring him back after they wheel me back to my curtained area.

I think I mentioned this before, but there is music in this room. Rock music today. I took this as a good sign. There are also about 4 nurses and the anesthesiologist. He's carrying my IV bag.

Nurse 1 is in charge of untying the back of my gown and getting me strapped into the table. They put you up in these super-stirrups at your knees, and your legs are literally at a 90 degree angle. Then they put a thick strap across your shins. I asked how many people try to escape the table. They laugh. I'm kind of serious.

At this point the anesthesia guy puts a mask on my face. That's all I remember. Last time I don't remember anything until much later in the recovery area. Today, I remember being wheeled back with the mask on my face and coughing really badly. Which, by the way, REALLY HURTS when they have just poked a needle through your uterus.

The whole thing lasted 25 minutes - much faster than before. I started to worry because they said if I started coughing during surgery, they'd stop. I was awake at this point, not nearly as groggy as the last IVF retrieval.
The nurse asked how I was feeling. I was feeling very "with it" and so I told her "I feel good. I could do your taxes."

I can NOT do her taxes.

She went to go get G, and I think she truly enjoyed telling him my comment. I try to explain myself, but I am so hoarse and still a big groggy - I just laugh it off.

In about 15-20 minutes I have been given pain meds through IV, extra strength tylenol (which I asked for again, but then remembered I already had it), had my IV taken out, and was on my sobriety walk. They make you walk a bit before they will let you go to make sure you're not going to fall on your face when you leave. Also because of nausea and all that jazz.

I was good to go, so I got dressed and we left. We were in the car around 12. MUCH faster than last time!

I am at home, resting, it's totally uncomfortable, but I am pleasantly surprised with how much LESS pain I am in this time.

And, the good (great) news: They retrieved 24 eggs!

Tomorrow we will hear about quality and how many fertilized. I can't wait :)