Monday, September 27, 2010

Still Waiting

It feels as though this entire process is about waiting. I am not a patient person when it comes to babies and waiting. Waiting for the cycle to start, waiting for meds, waiting for my body, and waiting for answers. Well, after my first "emergency" appointment, I was left waiting. Waiting to see if I'd bleed more, waiting to have another ultrasound...

My babies had heartbeats of 140 and 142 at exactly 6 weeks. They were measuring 6weeks and 5weeks 6 days. (It's common for one to be a day ahead/behind, apparently). They looked okay. But I had that clot.

Fast forward a week and a half. G and I went to this appointment together. I hadn't had any more bleeding, only some random "stuff" - but I hadn't worried myself with it. It's also important to note that I have been crampy for this entire time.

So, we showed up to our appointment at our RE's office. Dr. B was there, and our favorite U/S tech, Julie. They spent a little while looking at the screen and taking measurements, and then they turned the screen towards us. I interrupted my ceiling tile count to take a look at the screen. There they were - still hanging in there! The heartbeats were 160 and 167, and they were measuring right on schedule. The clot was bigger, but they hardly mentioned it. No cause of worry, or they would have said something. That's what kept me calm. This appointment was at 7 weeks, 3 days. I was almost 2 months along and the babies were doing wonderfully!

And... the good news... this was my last visit with Dr. B. I was being released back to my usual ob/gyn. Like a normal person and a normal pregnancy. Hmm. Not sure how to do "normal" after a year+ of specialist care.

The nurses and doctors gave us hugs, told us the directions for the meds (stop progesterone and estrogen at 10 weeks), and how to come back and visit on their lunch breaks so that they can "cuddle" with the babies. They give you discharge papers to deliver to your OB, and then you're done. You leave those doors with nothing but an empty wallet and full heart (and uterus). It was such a strange feeling.

The tough news: That I was going to have to wait 3 weeks to see another doctor. THREE WHOLE WEEKS. Again, with the patience.

Those three weeks were excruciating, but we made it. Last Friday afternoon - when I was 9 weeks and 4 days, we had another ultrasound. Again, the babies had great heartbeats and are measuring right on schedule. The best part of that experience was seeing them on the screen. Moving. Their little bodies moving back and forth, and their little arms moving.... it was amazing. Their heads are huge and their arms are stumpy looking - but those are some adorable little big headed babies.

Monday, September 20, 2010

And Then There Were Four

I've been hesitating updating the blog for a few reasons.

1. I had to tell people that read the blog before they, well, read the blog.

2. Superstition. Anxiety. Ridiculous mindset that if I share too soon, or share too much, that this will just go away. I will "ruin" something that seems to be going to perfectly well.

3. To get further along.

So, I am 10 weeks pregnant today. With twins. Buy one, get one free. Or both for half price. I have a few more weeks until I am out of the first trimester - but everything is looking really great. So now, I will backtrack and tell you all about the last few weeks (not all in one post - don't worry).

The Week We Found Out
I was due to take my beta test at the doctor on a Friday. The Friday before G's parents were due to arrive. I didn't even make it through 10 days before I wanted to test at home. So - a full 4 days before my beta I decided to do a home test. It could go 2 ways - negative (in which I would have convinced myself that it was just far too early to test positive) - or positive and then I could start stressing about being pregnant again.

Well, it was positive. Already. And by the time we beta tested on Friday, my levels were already over 1,000. GREAT news.

The next few days were spent enjoying the good news with G's parents, and napping. I was exhausted. Couldn't help myself, I could hardly keep my eyes open while out shopping! We kept the news quiet beyond them - anxious to get our follow-up beta levels and our first ultrasounds.

Well, the beta levels increased by over 60% (they never doubled) over the next 2 beta tests. We scheduled our first u/s for the following Wednesday.

The Weekend Before the U/S
Greg and I travelled via car to Indiana for a wedding. An amazing wedding. I love dancing with my husband, which he usually grins and bears... but this time my feet were tired and I was wiped out. He actually had to do most of the convincing. We had a wonderful time. We were in high spirits when we left Sunday morning for the long 10 hour drive home.

Hour 2. Rest stop. I had been having mild cramping - mostly just discomfort. Bathroom. Blood. I hardly made it to the car without breaking down. It wasn't nearly as much blood as when I miscarried, but it was enough. And bright red. Major freak-out worthy. So, needless to say the next 8 hours in the car were awful. We stopped approximately every 30 minutes to an hour. The bleeding slowed a bit - but never diminished completely. But because it was never as bad as before, I kept it calm.

We arrived home. We slept. I woke up super early and decided to calmly walk into my RE's office unannounced. They were incredible. The nurse calmly hustled me in, the doctor arrived, they assessed the bleeding that happened the day before. And then they hooked up the magic wand. I stared at the ceiling just hoping that everything was okay. I heard a lot of clicking, and both doctors were staring at the screen with concerned expressions. Then Dr. B said "Once we take some measurements, we'll turn the screen and show you what we see."

Okay, I thought. This sounds okay. I will continue to count the ceiling tiles and everything will be okay.

Then they turned the screen and I looked at them again. This time, they didn't look concerned. They looked surprised. And then they showed me what they were looking at.

One sac. Measuring 6 weeks. With a little grain of rice looking thing that flickered up and down. The heart beat.

Second sac. Measuring 5 weeks 6 days. Another flickering grain of rice.

Twins. Great looking twins.

And the blood. There was an area of bleeding- mostly all together in a clot - hanging out in there as well. That's what had caused the 10 hour ride from H-E-double hockey sticks.

They weren't the least bit concerned. Only warned me that the bleeding would probably continue for a bit (which it didnt). And they scheduled my next U/S appointment for a week and a half from that day. Eternity.

But at least our babies were doing well.

Enough to allow me to rest at ease for a while. I went right back home, hopped into bed with G and shared our new pictures and the news. (I let him to stay home and sleep - thinking I was not going to see anything except empty uterus that morning).

I'll keep updating to fill in the past few weeks... ;)