Better Luck Next Time

So, the beta was negative. My doctor gave me the call today - during her lunch (how nice). She left a message that said "I was trying to catch you right after your students left and before my afternoon appointments!"

Of course we're bummed. But today was rough, with an increase in the amount of blood I was seeing and the anxiety... I was worried that if it was positive that there was something seriously wrong. I don't want the first moment of my pregnancy to be me panicking about some NOT-normal side effect. So on to the next plan.

I will be starting birth control at the end of the week, and will remain on that for about 5 weeks - to get us over the holiday hump. Then we'll start right back up with day 1 of that cycle. This time we are doing an FET - frozen embryo transfer. I have 4 frozen blastocysts, so they will thaw and transfer. I will update on that process as we near the time. It's only 3 doctor visits - (WHOA!) so I'm looking forward to this cycle for the simple reason that it's low maintenance. I will only have a total of 10 (or so) injections before the FET. Ah, the simple things...

For now I'm going to mourn our attempt for a moment and then enjoy the holidays with my wonderful husband and family. My body needs a break from all of these hormones! I'm thinking a nice glass of red wine will help my "detox." :)

Unappreciated Side Effects

1. The need to decorate for Christmas "way too early."

2. Bleeding. Apparently "normal" and also accompanied by "normal" cramps. I hope by normal the nurse meant "do not panic."

3. Moody. I'm thankful for a patient husband who has perfected the dive to the couch to get out of my way, and for his support in my habitual viewing of the movie Elf.

4. The need to nap at any given moment in the day.

5. The label as the Designated Driver. No matter what. No drinking. No soda. I am far from a regular drinker of adult beverages, but you notice such when attending a wedding. With an open bar. I'd like to have a glass of wine. Or 10. This is stressful.

6. By far the most excruciating (TMI warning for Mom M.). No sex. Nada. Zilch. By far the most challenging and the least appreciated side effect of this whole process. And it definitely doesn't help with #3.

Caffeinated Bites

Dear Diet Coke,

Oh how I miss you. You were such a wonderful companion, especially when chilled or on ice with a straw. You knew how to please a thirsty gal. I'm sorry that my sudden abandonment has left you on the shelves of the store instead of the cozy confines of my refridgerator. The doctor said "no soda or caffeine," and, dear friend, you are both. The doctor is keeping us apart. I hope that during this time we find new loves, mine being non-caffeinated and non-carbonated in variety.

Good luck, ol' pal.

Love,
Jenn

This weekend I helped host a baby shower for a friend from high school. I will share pictures in a future posting, but let me just tell you.... I have been decaffeinated now for at least a week. Yesterday, however, at the shower, there was this bowl. This glorious bowl. Shiny chocolate coated somethings. I popped one in, thinking it was a peanut inside and I'd be able to resist future impulse. Oh, no. No such luck. It was a soft pomegranate seed. Chocolate covered pomegranate. I think I popped what turned out to be the equivalent of a 6 pack of soda. For the first time I could ever remember, I was wired when I was trying to get to sleep. I was exhausted, but stuck in "awake" mode because of these delicious caffeinated bites of chocolate pomegranate.

Finally, right around the time my alarm clock went off - I fell fast asleep.

PS: 7 day countdown for the beta test. Start now.

And Now We Wait

Here it is, folks. The blastocyst transferred today. As funky as this image looks, the doctor said that this blastocyst looked "fabulous." So fabulous, in fact, that they only transferred one. We have one other "fabulous" blastocyst and 9 other potentially decent looking embryos that might be frozen for future transfer. Seems so strange, looking at this little image, to think that our life and our hopes and all of those appointments and shots... well, they are all resting right there.

And now for the dreaded 2 week wait. We have our beta test on November 30th. Until then, I'll follow the doctors directions. :)

The Great Divide

Saturday embryo update: ALL 11 embryos have made it to the next stage - dividing 2 or 4 times! Looks like I'll be having my transfer on Tuesday! (Day 5, blastocysts, and more likely to implant!)

Update

Dr. B just called (yep, the ACTUAL doctor!) and said how happy she is with the results thus far, and that my eggs are looking good! All 14 fertlized, but three of them were showing a second nucleus and therefore will NOT be used for implantation. So, we have 11 fertilized eggs at this time.

We'll get another call tomorrow to update us with how many have divided 2-4 times, b/c these will be The Ones.

Lapse

It's been a few whirlwind days that have kept me from my wonderful blog. Tuesday G and I went in, and found that I had 11 follicles that were measured at 16mm up to 20mm. Dr. B and Julie (who was doing the probing) both remarked at how beautiful and wonderful my follicles looked. Hooray for my uterine growing ability, I suppose. What is the proper response to someone remarking about your ovaries and follicles?

Well, they printed off a copy of the follicle sizes for me to keep and sent me on my way. That same day they gave me permission to take the trigger shot - 10,000 hCG - that night. So, no more injections other than the massive one that G gets to aim at my tush. Exciting, right? Next step... and we were ready for the next phase.

We took the shot at 9:45pm Tuesday, and our egg retrieval was exactly 36 hours later - this morning at 9:45am. G and I got there at 8, as they asked, and got all prepped to go in. G turned in his sample, they hooked me up to an IV, and then we waited. At 9:45 exactly they led me into the operating room, where I sat down on the exam table. You can't even imagine the yoga I had to do to get myself into the pose they needed. But just a moment after I laid back, I had an oxygen mask on and... well, that's all I remember. I woke up about 30-40 minutes later back in the recovery room.

The good news: 14 eggs were retrieved!

The bad news: the "mild" discomfort they claimed was an understatement. I can hardly walk upright! I'm hoping that a good night's sleep will be just what my uterus needs to start rejuvenating.

We will get a call tomorrow between 12 and 3 to tell us about those precious eggs and how many fertilized!

Day to Day

Yesterday I had another monitoring appointment in which they measured quite a few follicles that were approaching 10mm. They told me before I left that I'd probably be coming back on Monday and to make an appointment for then. Well, when they called me with my blood results in the afternoon, they said that my E2 jumped up, and that they wanted me to come back today - Sunday - for more bloodwork and ultrasound.

Well, today when they measured me, they saw that I had 10 - 10 follicles - that were OVER 10mm's each - their mark for noting in my chart. One person is working the ultrasound while the other enters the data into the computer - and when you hit the 10mm mark they say "5 over and 4 under" meaning that I have 5 follicles over 10mm's and 4 under."

So things are looking good. The bloodwork results showed only about an increase of 100 E2, so they have increased my meds to the original dose (I took a modified dose last night).

I go back tomorrow morning to check growth. Today the largest ones were at almost 17mm's- a growth of 6mm's overnight! So I'm hoping tomorrow will be the day they tell me to take the trigger shot. I'm feeling awfully "full" down there and am ready for the next phase.

Update soon!

The Count

Today was my first monitoring appointment since starting the Gonal-F Pen and Menopur. I have been on it for three days (today will be 4), and so far everything is looking great!

The Doc said that my lining was starting to thicken up a bit, could use some more but we have time. He also checked out the ovaries - finding 10 follicles in the right and 8 in the left. 18 possible follicles so far.... hang in there little guys! Keep growing!

Delivery

Here it is. Baby-making in a box. This doesn't include refrigerated items, but you get the idea. Keeping it all straight is a full time job.

Yesterday was my Lupron evaluation, (beta, estrogen and ultrasound). Beta is negative, of course, Estrogen is 39 (expected), and ultrasound shows normal measurements of lining and ovaries. So far so good! I got the big OK to begin the HCG and Menopur. I am taking Gonadotropin pen injections at 150 iu, and Menopur at 75. I have lowered the Lupron from 20 units down to 5 units.

I go back to check progress of follicles on Tuesday. Here's to happy and healthy growing...